First off, Happy 2012 and all that jazz! Something about the date changing makes everyone hella lot more optimistic than usual, and I reckon I'm one of them as well. So here's to a brand, spankin New Year, and one more chance to get everything done right. And if the Mayans have their way, it might be our last chance, so lets make it count shall we?
Last we left off (which was a pitifully long time ago, my apologies- 2011 was a not a stellar blog updating year), I was at the tail end of my Infectious Diseases elective, which I really enjoyed. We had mostly run of the mill cases (pneumonia, cellulitis, sepsis) but then a couple of elephants too, including an artificial joint infection and one other patient who we never quite figured out what was wrong with.
Followed that up with my four week Medicine Sub-Internship which just ended. A sub-I is basically a chance to get to play doctor on a level that's higher than that of a third year but not quite that of an intern. It means more patients, more responsibility, more thinking, and ultimately more autonomy. Kind of nerve-wracking when you think about it, but I've never enjoyed Medicine more than I have in the past four weeks. I attribute this to a lot of things:
1) I legit love Internal Med. People think I'm batshit crazy when I tell them this but something about all the disciplines coming together and having to know and think about damn near everything in order to make sure your patient doesn't fall apart at the seams is grossly fascinating to me. My personal statement says this a lot more eloquently but that's basically the gist of it. Sure the lifestyle and the pay aren't all that stellar in comparison to more lucrative fields, but at the end of the day, you gotta be happy doing what you're doing right? I think I'd rather be happy than rich. Happy AND rich would be ideal but as the interest piles on top of my student loans, it's evident that the latter won't be a reality anytime soon.
2) I've worked with some great people. Your teachers are such an important part in this entire med school process (or any educational pursuit for that matter) and I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to work for some stellar residents along the way. It's hard to do everything you have to do as an Intern and teach your idiot med student at the same time, but some people manage to do it in really spectacular ways. Weeks 2 and 3 of my Sub-I were especially awesome because I had the incredibly wonderful fortune to work with an Intern who's not only a great doctor, but a phenomenal teacher and mentor as well. Someone who's actively involved me in patient care from the get-go, who's given me more responsibility and autonomy than I've ever had, which, in turn, has let me thrive.
3) I'd be lying if I said I haven't been having a mini quarter-life crisis in recent months, but over the past month I feel like I've rediscovered why I wanted to do this in the first place. And I owe a lot of that to working with someone who is genuinely inspiring in what they do. Most people get to work and count the hours until they can go home. I count the hours until I can go back to work. In fact, last week, I spent my three day Christmas weekend bemoaning the fact that I had the good fortune to not be on call over the holiday. That's pretty sick eh? But the thing is, I loved what I got to do- even the scuttiest of scut work didn't phase me. It's all a part of the job, some parts are less glamorous than others. Whether it was a day in which there were only 4 patients on our list or the day we got slammed with 6 new admissions overnight, it didn't feel like actual work to me. Half the time I'm on auto-pilot, just moving from one task to the next, making sure things get done for our patients, and ultimately making sure that they're getting better. It's an adrenaline rush really. Being a sub-I is obviously not the same thing as being a full-fledged Intern or Resident and there are a lot of things that are beyond the scope of my management right now, but there was still so much that I was given the opportunity to do and I took it and ran with it. It's incredibly satisfying to be there and put plans into action and get things done for our patients and see the end results.
So in sum, I love what I get to do and I'm so friggin lucky to have had the residents I've worked with and the mentor I've gained in this entire process. I mean, seriously, what Resident do you know who would honestly take an entire hour and a half on a Sunday night to call and give me the longest pep talk I've ever gotten in my life? That just doesn't happen anymore! The road's been bumpy and the future is still uncertain, but this is my Plan A, it has always been my Plan A, and that's all there is to it.
Bonne nuit!
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