Happy Things

Gonna jot down some happy thoughts for once, because I have to remind myself that there are still good, great, amazing, things in my life even if other parts of it aren't on the same level.

Finished GI. Gotta say, I kinda miss it. The unfortunate part of 4-week electives is that just as you're settling in and figuring out your role and actually able to help the team, you end up having to move on to the next one. I didn't quite know how I was doing on this rotation because my Attendings were rather sparse on feedback- positive or negative, which is why I was plenty surprised on Friday when my Attending interrupted me as I was presenting a consult to say:  "You know, you really impressed all of us. You're going to make an excellent doctor some day." I don't think I even formed an intelligible response- at the time I was still trying to explain the multiple colors seen in this woman's vomit (glamorous job, I know). But it was nice to hear it- to be reassured that I'm good at what I do, and that I did make the right decision choosing this field, however, difficult it's been. It was the most pleasant, way to end my rotation.

Part of what made this last week so great was being able to have a social life, albeit completely by accident. I realized I can't ever make plans in the long term anymore but things that come up when I least expect it seem to be panning out quite nicely. After a batshit crazy day of call last Sunday, an impromptu Happy Hour with Dani at our old high school hangout Applebee's (yeah we were THAT cool) gave me some much needed R&R (rest and 'ritas). We met on the first day of high school, which unbelievably was almost 8 years ago, and while so much has changed since then, I feel like some things between us will always stay the same.

With graduation coming up and fourth year winding down, a lot of friends from med school are closing up shop here in NY and heading back home for a few months before beginning residency in July. Allie and I met midway through my Surgery rotation. I was in hell and the Ivy League kids were driving me crazy so it was a breath of fresh air to have a genuinely normal, incredibly intelligent, sweet, and fun fellow SGUer to suffer with. We bonded over our collective book-wormyness which is fantastic because having a book friend means you've got an unlimited source of good reads and someone who full well understands the pathological need to keep reading at 3 am when you should probably be sleeping. We met up for dinner and pretty much just spent four hours talking about everything. You know how you can never really put your finger on when a friendship solidifies? I have no clue when that happened to us, but suffice to say, I'm really gonna miss her now that she's moving some 800 odd miles away from here to be a kickass OB-Gyn.

On Saturday, I went to visit my Resident in the hospital who just had her brand new baby boy. Aside from the fact that this little guy is so precious and just all around friggin awesome, it was great to see each other outside of the hospital where 95% of our conversation is dominated by what we need to do for our patients. That kind of downtime is rare to have, but so, so appreciated. I didn't even realize four hours had passed until my mom started blowing up  my phone wondering where in Connecticut I had disappeared to.

I'm really grateful to have such amazing people in my life. As stupidly corny as it sounds, I feel like my spirit is just...nourished by being around them. I feel re-charged, re-energized, and that I'm capable of doing anything. That feeling doesn't come by too often these days, and I wish I could bottle it up and keep it with me always. For now, I'll make do with my pulses of motivation and take everything one day at a time.