I can't be witty at all about this, because to put quite simply, Surgery makes me tired. I'm not saying anything that is new or ground-breaking at all, but it's one thing to hear about your colleagues going through their Surgery rotation and then actually experience it yourself. It's a WORLD of difference. I wake up at 4 am to leave the house by 430 am so that I can get to work by 520 and be changed into scrubs and on the floors to pre-round by 530. Getting home in the evening is variable, though so far, I've been quite fortunate with the smooth traffic I've been getting on the Grand Central. No more getting stuck on highways for 3 hours because of bridge closures! Well, not for the past 2 days at least.
I'm still pretty unsettled in this rotation which is probably my biggest source of anxiety. I like knowing what's expected of me and who to turn to for what, but I haven't had much of that here. I've kind of been flying by the seat of my pants which just doesn't settle well in my stomach. Not that it really matters what I think, I just gotta go with the flow and get acclimated eventually. The other students have been super friendly, and really good about clueing me into stuff and answering the 17 billion logistical questions I have that I'm too chicken to ask the residents. So I'm very grateful for them. Unfortunately, they wont be around for too much longer so I'm going to have turn into the expert before the next group shows up!
I really do miss my old hospital and the old crew and the residents there. Although not a clinical center by any means, by my counts, I spent roughly 7 months of my third year there, so you can't blame me for getting a little attached. Maybe it's just a Surgery thing and I shouldn't be comparing, but people certainly aren't as warm as they were on IM. To be honest, Surgery seems like a really lonely life. I definitely know it's not for me so my goal is simply to get through the next 12 weeks, which right now seems like an eternity away. Sigh. One day at a time I guess. Say a prayer for me, I'm gonna need it!
I can't think of a single reason why I should be a doctor, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field. [MG]
1 comment:
you can do it! i'm cheering for you.
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